And now, for something completely different

   This is usually a strictly political blog, about strictly political issues. Every once in awhile, though, I like to address topics that stray from that strict template, things that make me stop and think. This is one of those times.   This morning, I was on my friend Jason Tippitt's blog, "State of Formation," which addresses contemporary religious issues from a humanist perspective. On it, he asked the question, "If I could give my 12-year-old self advice based on what I've learned about life so far, what would I tell him?" That's an intriguing question, and one I thought I might attempt to answer. So what advice would I give my 12-year-old self if I had the chance?
   1. Life ISN'T fair: This is probably the single hardest lesson each of us has to learn for ourselves. I remember my father telling me as a child that if I worked hard and made good decisions, good things would come to me. He was right, to a point. Good things come to those who work hard and do the right things. But it's also true that bad things happen to good people, sometimes for no apparent reason. Our parents die unexpectedly. We're laid off from our job after years of loyal service with the same company. Our spouses and friends hurt us. Sometimes marriages end, despite our best efforts. Is any of this fair? No. But these things are part of life. The sooner we accept this basic truth, the sooner we can begin the healing process and move forward.
   When bad things happen, it's very easy to succumb to the temptation to curl up and pull the proverbial covers over our head. But the truth is, it's how we respond to life's road blocks that determines what kind of person we really are. Quitting never accomplishes anything. It doesn't solve the problem, and it only hurts us in the end. Life can be painful, but if we take it one minute, one second, at a time and stay focused on moving forward, we are almost guaranteed to find something better on the other side of the problem.
   2. When it comes to choosing a career, follow your dreams and do something that makes you happy: Your average working career is about 30 years, and it's getting longer every day. That's a long time to be doing something you hate. Never allow anyone to talk you out of your dream. When I graduated from high school, I wanted to major in music, with a concentration in vocal performance. Unfortunately, my father didn't like that choice, and he told me that he wouldn't pay for me to get my degree if I pursued that major. Lacking any other means for paying for college myself, I reluctantly chose something else. I love journalism, but I've always wondered what might have happened if I had pursued my first dream.
   When it comes to choosing a career, remember that money and position aren't everything. They're not even the most important thing. I've known too many people who have advanced in their careers to the point that they're not even doing the things they love most anymore, those things that made them want that career in the first place. Stick with doing those things you love, and you'll always find happiness.
   3. Choose your friends carefully: What is a friend? A friend is someone who loves you and accepts you for who YOU are, not who they wish you were. A friend is someone you can share with. Someone you can laugh with. Someone you can cry with. A friend is someone who is there for you, in good times and bad. A friend is someone who will tell you what you NEED  to hear, not just what you WANT to hear. A friend always has your best interest at heart.
   A friend will never try to change who you are to suit their own needs. A friend will never pressure you to do something dangerous, or something you know to be wrong. If you're friends with someone who does either of these things, guess what? They're not your friend.
   4. Don't be afraid to open yourself up to love: Love is truly a double-edged sword. As wonderful as it feels to be in love for the first time, it also can be devastating if the relationship doesn't work out. That kind of pain is just part of life. Don't give up on love after your first failure. As much as it hurts initially, it will get better if you just keep focused on the future. Remember that God never intended for us to be alone. He created someone for everyone, and you can find that person, if only you're patient. When you find that love, don't be afraid to love with your whole heart and soul. It's a huge risk making yourself vulnerable to someone like that. But the rewards are totally worth it.
   5. Don't judge someone based on their appearance. Judge them based on their actions: In other words, don't pass judgment on someone until you "walk a mile in their shoes," as the old saying goes. Keep an open mind and get to know someone before passing judgment. You'll often find friends in the most unlikely of places, and you might learn some things, to boot. Bottom line here is, "Treat others as you would like to be treated." If you keep this as your guiding principle, you can't go wrong.