Combatting hatred begins with each of us

   It's happened again. Another senseless shooting where innocent people died for no reason. This time, it happened in a historic black church -- Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, S.C. Nine people died and one was injured after the alleged shooter, Dylann Storm Roof, opened fire after sitting in a Bible study group for about an hour. Roof was apparently motivated by hatred stoked by racism, as he had racist patches on his jacket.
   It all seems so simple. A white supremacist opens fire in a historically black church. It's an open and shut case, right? Hardly. You'd think we'd be used to this by now. Every few months, it seems, we're jarred out of our sense of complacency by a seemingly senseless act of violence. Someone opens fire in a movie theater or in a shopping mall or on a military base. Every time we react with outrage, especially if race is somehow tied in. That outrage is justified, but it's not enough. This time, I believe we need to go beyond the outrage and the prayers for their victims and their families. This time, we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and what breeds this type of hate. More important, we need to ask ourselves: What can we do to break this vicious cycle?
   To begin with, we need to take a long, hard, honest look at ourselves. We need to admit to that we, too, are capable of this type of hate. Be honest. Who can say that they've never had a racist thought or used a racial epithet in their lives? If we're completely honest, I think we'd find that we've all had a racist thought or used a racist term at one time or another. The difference, of course, is the vast majority of us never act on those thoughts or go beyond using a racist term. But each of us is capable of the same type of hate that motivated Roof. We are not perfect, so it's wrong of us to cast judgment on Roof, especially since so little is known of his past right now.
   The second thing we can do is realize that hate is not natural to the human condition. Yes, we each have the capacity to hate, but children are a blank slate. They aren't born hating. They are taught to hate. So if we want to end this vicious cycle of hatred and violence, we need to teach children to look beyond skin color. We need to teach them to judge people based on the "content of their character," to quote Dr. King, not on skin color. More important, we need to demonstrate this love for others through our own actions. Children hear what we tell them, but they are more likely to imitate what the see us doing, so setting the right example is vital.
   Third, we, as a society, need to confront the societal factors that likely led to Roof's outburst. And what are those? Two that come immediately to mind are profound poverty and broken homes. Here's how it works: A child is born into a single parent home where that parent is struggling daily to provide even the basic necessities. As that child grows, he sees peers with two parents who have plenty without having to struggle. He grows to resent it, then becomes angry. That angry child has just made himself vulnerable to the myriad of hate groups out there, who target kids like this, kids who want desperately to belong and who want to find someone to blame for their situation.
   To be honest, I can't really relate to what it's like to be a victim of racism. Nor do  really know what it's like to live in poverty. I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm a white male who was raised in a solidly middle class environment by parents who taught me not to hate. But whether I can directly relate or not, I know that racism and hatred in this country won't end until people like me stand up against it. It won't end until people like me teach my future children not to judge others on anything other than their actions. It won't end until I go beyond words of outrage and actually set the proper example for how to treat other people. We can defeat the kind of hate that showed itself in Charleston last week. But for that to happen, it must begin with each of us.